Who mandated party favors at kids birthdays?
The love for stuff starts early. My son always collected treasured stones (and the occasional trash trinket) on his walk home from school. He also collected little tchotschkes he received from the dentist office or the arcade or next to the gumball machine. But the most pernicious bits of cheap plastic junk entering our home came in the form of party favors.
“Why are we getting presents at her birthday party?”
Even though many people would say explicitly or vaguely that this is a “no presents” party, people invariably brought presents. And those hosts were sometimes the worst culprits of the party favor bags.
By age 3, my children asked the question: “Why are we getting presents at her birthday party?“ By age 4, they expected it. With ~26 students in a class, that’s a birthday party every 2 weeks.
So what’s in a party favor bag? Here are a few common items:
Pencils with bright colors, made with lead so brittle that it constantly breaks (even while sharpening)
Erasers
Tiny ringed note pads
Slap bracelets
Plastic spinning tops
Plastic hand clapper noise makers
Plastic finger rings
Crawler men/rabbit sticky action figures
Sticky hands
Candy
Many of these items can be found with an Amazon search for party favors, or a visit to your local dollar store.
Do party favors fit the non-essential criteria?
Let’s run through three possibilities.
Yes: They are cheap and do not last. If the favor is something you want to cherish until you are able to hand it down to the next child, good luck. The party and the party favors depreciate in value rapidly.
No: They provide a brief moment of entertainment for the sugar-crashing children on their way home, and elicit pleasant memories of the party. Additionally, it gives humans joy to give to others and many hosts enjoy the tradition. Strong party favors also tie into the theme of ponies or Paw Patrol or Minecraft.
Maybe: They allow party hosts to feel like they are keeping up with expectations. And that has value since many parents are riddled with guilt from saying “no” throughout the day.
What can we do instead?
2020 was a boom year for the DIY movement; if only there was a Martha Stewart for minimalists. During the pandemic is people cut spending on stuff, including the crap that you give and get at kids birthday parties. Is that about to roar back? Here are some alternatives.
Pinata Making
Nearly every party seems to have a pinata. They are fun. They are also sources of trinkets. But what if you turn the birthday party into a pinata making party.
Prepare the cardboard. You can precut this into any shape, and it can be a great activity you can do a day in advance with the birthday boy or girl.
For the exterior you need scraps of paper. I like to use scrap paper from documents I would have shredded, though you may not want to do that for a larger party with people you don’t know that well or with kid who can read.
Kids at the party can cut the scraps together and glue them to the pinata.
Use tissue paper as a final splash of color. I often have leftover colored tissue paper from gift bags.
For an extra bit of circular economy points, ask each kid to bring a toy they no longer love that will go in the pinata.
Cake Making
No matter how much effort I put into a party, I always got the most praise when I made the cake. Can a cake making experience be part of the party?
In the early 90s, I went to a few birthday parties at a paint-it-yourself ceramics company called Color Me Mine. It was a fun activity and everyone came home with a souvenir they loved despite how non-essential it was. In the 2000s, we say Build a Bear and American Girl birthday parties grow in popularity, showing precedent for craft.
A simple birthday cake can be made in 1-3 hours, though I have spent much longer on cakes. With some supervision, prep work, and structure, a cake making party can be a viable alternative.
There are so many creative possibilities for better birthday parties that eliminate or minimize consumption. If you want to create an experience that appreciates over time, what are your alternatives to the birthday party and party favors? Join the discussion.